Losing someone. I never thought it would actually happen to me, but here I am feeling shocked, angry and annoyed at the world for taking someone so beautiful away from me. My little feline Nala wasn’t even two years old when she passed away on Tuesday morning due to heart failure.

 

My life has been thrown off course. I often feel internally sad, and now that something external has happened I feel like the world has been cruel to me. 

 

I keep thinking about what I could have done to make things different. What would have happened if we took her to see the vet earlier? What if we didn’t take her at all? My stressed mind keeps coming up with all of these questions. I guess I’m looking for someone or something to blame.

 

When I’m distracted I forget that she’s gone. Everything is normal. And then I remember and go through it all again, wishing I would wake from this nightmare.

 

I am lucky because I’ve never had to deal with loss before, but I don’t think that changes anything. Nothing that anyone says or does will make it any easier. I have figured that working helps to keep my mind off things. I just have to trust that time will take my sorrow away.

 

Here are some pictures I have taken of her, please view them with love. I'm so grateful that I got to take so many.

 

I will always carry you in my heart, Nala. Thank you for looking after me and for making my life better x

 ^^ This is one of my favourite pictures of her. I love how the shadows cast on her fur. It makes her tabby markings look even more beautiful.

©2020 EMILY-HEATHER. All image rights are my own and cannot be used without consent.